Saturday, March 31, 2012


Not enough people tell me my music is good.

Oh, plenty of people say my music means the world to them, but it's never enough. When it's MY music, MY art, MY ego, MY insecurities, MY thirst for peer recognition, respect, and honor, I am never fulfilled and it is never enough.

I was in Minneapolis on the 2007 Tooth and Nail Tour. After the show I went to the merch booth to meet people. I was stopped by one of those really charismatic, on-fire Christians who always seem to be getting "words" for people. Just my luck, he had a word for me, and although I'm naturally a skeptic I agreed to let him pray for me. Couldn't hurt right? He put his big hands around my head like he was about to head-butt me and started praying in tongues (which always creeps me out), while onlookers waited patiently with their unsigned TCC posters in hand. Then he started praying in English, which made me feel a little better about the situation. Turns out he was saying some pretty good stuff.

Afterwords, he looked me straight in the eyes, my head still in his hands, and said, "You are enough because He is enough." I nodded nervously and he said it again, staring more intently, "You are enough because He is enough." 

That echoed in my mind for a long time. Five years later, the "word" he had for me still hits me out of nowhere... I am enough because He is enough.

It's not about me, and when I occasionally remember that I suddenly lose interest in people telling me I'm good. 

I understand that the art I make isn't from me, it flows through me, from somewhere else to somewhere else. I sit down to do the work, but I barely understand how inspiration works let alone the true meaning and influence of any song I've written. I am blessed to enjoy it, and that is enough for me.

It's like having a baby. Sure, it grew in you and then came out of you, but you didn't consciously make it. The child is unique and the miracle of human life is... a miracle. All you did was have sex. All you did was experience a few minutes of pleasure and a miracle happened. Every parent knows they can't take credit for the miracle that is their child.

That's how I feel about songs, especially the ones that end up meaning something to a lot of people. They feel good to write, and the lyrics and concept usually materialize in ten minutes or less. They are things that occur to me, not things I manufacture. I don't write them, they write me. 

If you love my songs and think I'm wise because I write them, then getting to know me in real life would probably disappoint you. I'm messy and inconsistent and foolish and sarcastic and immature. I would encourage you to not seek fulfillment in people, because people will always disappoint you.

For a few minutes a year I am honored with the burden of being a broken tool in the hand of a perfect God whose apparent goal it is to bring some tiny portion of goodness into the world. I couldn't tell you why, and it could all stop tomorrow, but I can tell you that I didn't do anything to deserve it.

It does me no good to seek out credit. Because it isn't rightfully mine, no amount of credit will fulfill me. I am enough because He is enough. I have enough because He gives me enough. I am good because He is good, and I am useless when He doesn't show up.

Nothing this world can offer me will ever be enough.

I am enough because He is enough.


  1. moving words Matt. Thanks for the reminder of what is so so true.

  2. That is really amazing Matt. And now you have put that 'somthing to think about' in other people's lives as well.

  3. I notice that your blogs have become few and far between, but when they appear they are filled with "enough" to hold us over until the next! Plenty to digest!

  4. "...a person praised for some gift which You bestowed, who nevertheless finds more joy in being praised than in having the gift for which he is praised, then he also, though admired by human judgement, is blamed by You. In this case the person who gives the praise is superior to the recipient of the praise, for the former is pleased by God's gift to a man, whereas the latter is more pleased with what man gives than with what God has given." - Saint Augustine

    That is the end of a passage in Augustine's "Confessions" that I read the other day, as I am slowly reading through his work. This post of yours brought it to mind. Judging by how God often works in my life, I am sure this is a point He is driving home in me, but I figured I should share. It is a wonderful thing, finding God's contentment.

    Not to give you credit, but in hopes to encourage in someway, I want to say that your works have been a huge blessing in my life thus far. Half of The Classic Crime's songs and half of you posts on here are the kind that give me simultaneous mental, physical (like goosebumps), and spiritual reactions upon first discovery, and then again multiple listens and views over. Simply put, they cut me deep. This post was one of those. Thanks for for sharing and doing what you do. God is using you friend, stick close to Him.

    God bless,