Thursday, September 17, 2009


I'm in taper mode. In two weeks we will head into the studio and as per usual my mind is focused on that task and that task alone. Unfortunately, we only practice a couple hours a day and make our arrangements via email, which means I spend much of what is left of my time on mindless things. My passion is all tied up in something that will happen, so it seems I really have none left to spend in the present time. I'm usually a live-for-the-moment type of person, but now I'm just scraping by momentarily. I'm living for the future. Practice, plan, sleep. Those are my priorities.

Most of my nights consist of hours on the couch marveling at things that most people would find un-marvelous. If you read my tweets you'll find a striking commentary on all things Discovery Channel. I realize this is borderline foolishness, but it's really all I can do to distract myself from the task at hand. It is far too easy to sit and obsess about the daunting and emotionally taxing undertaking that inevitably awaits me. The task that will in some ways define me. People will see me, hear me and feel me in a new way, and maybe they won't like it. Maybe they won't like me. It's always terrifying to make a record, and even more terrifying when people are relying on you, waiting with expectant ears to be impressed or let down. Which is it going to be? I'm not sure, but compared to the Polar Bears on Planet Earth my task seems quite trivial. Oh, sweet beautiful perspective.

Tapering is something that athletes do. Marathon runners will cut back on training and perhaps not run at all for a week or so before a race. With musicians it's the opposite. The studio is coming so we must practice, and more frequently as the date comes nearer to ensure that once we enter those studio doors the money spent there will not go to waste. We don't taper our training, but I feel my mind tapering in expectation of the studio. Perhaps I'm limiting myself now with the foolish hope that my creative mind will bloom in a few weeks. Maybe after a few weeks of drought my mind will be faced with an enervating task which will be met with a sudden, recharged wave of creativity. Wishful thinking? Probably. I imagine that psychologists would say that my mind will only be as active as I train it to be, and that I should be reading and scheming and listening and dreaming. How I wish I could be! I cannot pick up a book without thinking of some part of the recording process, a process which to my detriment I am much more familiar with this time around.

There are some moments when I catch a glimpse of what this record might look like when its done. These are calming, peaceful moments. They happen sometimes as I glance over the track listing or listen to demos. Suddenly, for a split second I can hear the songs done and in perfect order with perfect performances. I can see the record move from one track to the next with the live energy and emotion necessary to communicate exactly what it should. I really hold on to these moments, because most moments I listen to the demos and think, "Oh... crap."


  1. haha, I love the random tweets about the discovery channel, tyra, and oprah.

    I will seriously pray for you guys. For the whole process. For peace. For the unhampered ability to say/scream/sing/play from your hearts onto the record. And for no hindrances in the creativity process.

    I don't care if the new album sounds like CRAP, [I would prefer that it didn't, though, haha], I will love it because I know what's behind it all.

    God bless.

  2. i agree with/second everything D. DeCecco said :)

    but hey, here's how i see it: if you know demos are crap, you must also know there's something better. you've *got* it in there, if you dig a little. and as you say, you're well familiar with how it all works, this time around. pour your soul into it and there's no way it could be anything less than extraordinary, if not only for that reason.

    <3 love and prayers...

  3. Dude, this record should be about what God brings to the table, not Matt. I think this type of thinking will help to lessen the load of recording an album.

    "It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything"
    -Fight Club

  4. Oh aren't you being a little over dramatic there? But actually this little exercise in writing must have helped you relax a bit, right? Anyway I don't think anything you guys do will be complete crap! Pray the Lord will put it all together for you, if your heart is in the right place, it will be better than the last album!

  5. I is excited for new classic crime musical bliss...

  6. Hey, I've been reading your blog lately and I just wanted to let you know that your blog (and music) makes me think. Which then gives me the opportunity to learn about life, God, and myself. The lyrics you write have affected my life in so many ways. I'm always eager to listen to TCC because I know that you guys are passionate about what you write and produce. Whenever you worry about whether or not this next album will make it, just remember that there are some of us fans who believe in you guys... just play from the heart and there's no doubt in my mind that you'll affect someone else's life just like you did mine.